Goodbye

"Shhh, he's coming."
"Wha-?"
"Quiet!"
"I don't think-"
"SHHH!"
"Tee-hee-hee-hee-hee..."
Noah entered the yogurt stand and closed the mini-door behind him.
"Gosh," Noah said, "It's my last night here, I sure as heck hope there are no surprises..."
"SUPRISE!!!!!!!!!!"
The dry toppings burst forth from their metal containers, showering the white tile floor with an ultimate mix of peanuts, almonds and chocolate chips.
"Oh Noah, " The bananas blubbered, "Say it ain't so, say it ain't so!"
Noah gently held Chiquita #7 in his hands, caressing her pale yellow skin,
"I'm sorry Chiquita # 7, but my time has come."
"Hey you two!" the chopped almonds cracked, "Get a room!"
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
"Noah," the chocolate chips said, "over here!"
Noah walked over to the counter on the other side of the yogurt machine, whereupon he found the chocolate chips gingerly laid out on the counter. They had arranged themselves to spell out the following words:
"Farewell, Dear Friend!"
Noah felt the back of his throat clench in emotion. He fought back the tears.
"Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!!!!"
Noah cleared his throat and stood there in front of the multitudes.
"Oh, gosh. Where do I start? Well...We've all seen our share of shit over the years, selling frozen yogurt to them trifflin' white folk....But I guess, at the end of the day, when all the assholes, dickwads and freak'n'fuckers have left me, I walk home with a quiet comfort, knowing that I didn't have to suffer it alone...that I had you guys with me, all along...."
The bananas burst into a choir of sobs. The chocolate chips sat there, at a loss for words.
"...and I guess, " Noah continued, "that's what makes it worth all the pain...hey, where's the trail mix?"
The dry toppings looked around, searching.
"Last time I saw him, he was in the back." The raisins said.
Noah ducked his head in the backroom and found the trail mix, sitting in the corner, staring at the floor.
"Hey." Noah said, " We missed you out there."
The trial mix looked up, a single tear running down his peanut.
"You go upstairs, you ain't never coming back."
"What do you mean?" Noah said, "I'll come down all the time to visit-"
"No you won't. And you shouldn't...I wouldn't. I'd never come back, if I had it my way."
"Well, geez Trail Mix, I don't know what to say..."
"Goddammit!" the trail mix blubbered, "Why the hell did I ever let you get close? Everyone I let in just leaves me, Goddammit!"
"Trail Mix! This isn't the end!"
"Like hell it isn't! Go! Just go on up there, sell those goddamn shirts, sell the shit out of them, for all I care! But I'll tell you what, you're never, and I mean NEVER gonna have friends like the ones you had here. You fuckin' traitor. Go!"
"Trail Mix!"
"GO, I said!"
Noah stepped out of the backroom just in time to see all of the dry toppings turn away, pretending that they weren't eavesdropping.
"He's taking it rough," The bananas whispered, "ROUGH."
"Well," Noah collected his belongings, "I guess it's time for me to make like a banana,"
"And split!" Chiquita cheered.
"Ha, Ha, Ha!"
"Goodbye Noah!"
"So long! We'll miss you!"
"bye!"
As Noah closed the mini-door behind him, he heard a noise.
"Psst!"
It was Trail Mix. He had snuck inside Noah's backpack.
"Trail Mix!"
"Quiet! I'm coming with you. I don't care if you throw me away when you get home, I can't stay, I just can't!"
"Okay, fine, fine, you can come with."
"Alright. But we have to get past security. I'll stay low until we're well past the border. Don't blow it. Just act natural."
"Sure."
Noah carried the Trail Mix up the stairs toward the security checkpoint.
"You know," Noah said, "You realize that once we are home, I am going to eat you."
"Not if I eat you first."
"Charade you are, Trail Mix."
"Charade you are, my good man. Charade you are."

MY LIVING HELL 8/28/03 -- 5 /6/06