A large black man in a tanktop came over to me while I was shelving holds and he asked where his hold was.
I told him it would be filed under his hold pickup number, which was written on his library card.
"I've never been here before. I don't have a card. This is my first time, blah-yah-yah-yah-yah-crazy eyes-blah-yah-yah-yah..."
Have you ever seen an "exploded diagram" of something? If you're an engineer, or a consumer of any Ikea product, you are probably well familiar with this concept. I feel like my job basically is trying to visually describe an exploded diagram of esoteric themes to every person who walks through the front door of the library. Every person who is fresh from a Greyhound Bus station, searching for free internet.
After a few rounds of explaining how holds work, the black dude started to say something, then looked away and said, "shit, shit, shit!" and murmured something. Then he turned away from me and stepped into the line to the service desk, ignoring all of my offers of further help.
I took this as a cue to go into our back workroom and look busy, if only until he leaves. I see him go to the asian girl I have a crush on, the one who I had to work the desk with one day after accidentally pissing on my pants, ( it was only a dribble of piss, I wasn't aiming properly, I don't think she noticed, do you think she noticed?). I'm happy, because this means I have an excuse to go talk to her again.
I notice that my hold has come in, a DVD of the made-for-TV movie THE CLIENT LIST, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's like WEEDS, except its a massage parlor and instead of pot its prostitution.
I plan the best sleep over any girl my size can handle. I'm going to make popcorn and braid my own hair.
I get home and start drinking. I'll get to the Client List. First, I have to watch several Vanity 6 videos on Youtube, trying to pick which one to download.
I go with "Nasty Girl". It's classic Prince!
Then comes the point where I want to see something sad. I pull up my trusty link of Patti Lupone's "Rose's Turn" video from her Broadway stint as Momma Rose on Gypsy.
Jesus Christ, I can learn a thing or two from this lady on how to showboat.
I cry. I've seen this video six times already. I cry every time. Being an underdog is one thing. Being an Underdog's Mother...that's a whole new kettle of fish. This song is brilliant. It's a mad, mad trip inside the mind of an overworked stage mom who finally gets her time in the spotlight. The spotlight of her mind, that is!
A lot of people prefer Bernadette Peter's version of this. She got to put on Momma Rose's shoes back in '03. I guess if you're a woman on Broadway, when you reach a certain age, they make you wear Momma Rose's shoes. Bernadette was my initiation into this song, which has been done by Ethel Merman and Bette Midler, but I prefer Patty. She makes some fantastic choices in this clip, namely @ the 1:48 mark, where she sing's "Curtain up" while robotically unbuttoning her overcoat.
Bernadette has a better voice. It's just so sexy. But Patti can tap into the "unhinged" much better. She actually looks like one of the many people I make library cards for on a daily basis. I'll always have a place in my heart for Bernadette. Her "last Midnight" song from Into the Woods will forever linger on many a playlist for moi. It's the number one song for any witch that wants to commit suicide.
Sure Patti can chew up some stage. But this has been done so many times before, and its written so well (Sondheim), that you just can't help but watch it unfurl. It's Rose's turn. Patti Lupone is actually "deconstructing" this role, this act, before our very eyes. Super impressive. How do you like them egg rolls, Mr. Goldstone?
I think what attracts me to this song is the pure yearning. It's why I like that movie Young Adult...someone has gotten off the freeway of life and they are trying like hell to get back on...its all shoulda, woulda, coulda, but I can't help but shed a tear for that person, because I know what it feels like. And its fun to watch them go insane for it, just take it all the way to home plate.
Kurt from Glee did a rendition of this song. All it does is make me want to watch Patti's version. That's what Glee does...it just makes you crave for the original version of something. Sad. But at least it gets the kiddies pointed toward something that was good..once upon a time.
I end up falling asleep with The Client List DVD clutched between my tear-moistened mits.
I told him it would be filed under his hold pickup number, which was written on his library card.
"I've never been here before. I don't have a card. This is my first time, blah-yah-yah-yah-yah-crazy eyes-blah-yah-yah-yah..."
Have you ever seen an "exploded diagram" of something? If you're an engineer, or a consumer of any Ikea product, you are probably well familiar with this concept. I feel like my job basically is trying to visually describe an exploded diagram of esoteric themes to every person who walks through the front door of the library. Every person who is fresh from a Greyhound Bus station, searching for free internet.
After a few rounds of explaining how holds work, the black dude started to say something, then looked away and said, "shit, shit, shit!" and murmured something. Then he turned away from me and stepped into the line to the service desk, ignoring all of my offers of further help.
I took this as a cue to go into our back workroom and look busy, if only until he leaves. I see him go to the asian girl I have a crush on, the one who I had to work the desk with one day after accidentally pissing on my pants, ( it was only a dribble of piss, I wasn't aiming properly, I don't think she noticed, do you think she noticed?). I'm happy, because this means I have an excuse to go talk to her again.
I notice that my hold has come in, a DVD of the made-for-TV movie THE CLIENT LIST, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's like WEEDS, except its a massage parlor and instead of pot its prostitution.
I plan the best sleep over any girl my size can handle. I'm going to make popcorn and braid my own hair.
I get home and start drinking. I'll get to the Client List. First, I have to watch several Vanity 6 videos on Youtube, trying to pick which one to download.
I go with "Nasty Girl". It's classic Prince!
Then comes the point where I want to see something sad. I pull up my trusty link of Patti Lupone's "Rose's Turn" video from her Broadway stint as Momma Rose on Gypsy.
Jesus Christ, I can learn a thing or two from this lady on how to showboat.
A lot of people prefer Bernadette Peter's version of this. She got to put on Momma Rose's shoes back in '03. I guess if you're a woman on Broadway, when you reach a certain age, they make you wear Momma Rose's shoes. Bernadette was my initiation into this song, which has been done by Ethel Merman and Bette Midler, but I prefer Patty. She makes some fantastic choices in this clip, namely @ the 1:48 mark, where she sing's "Curtain up" while robotically unbuttoning her overcoat.
Bernadette has a better voice. It's just so sexy. But Patti can tap into the "unhinged" much better. She actually looks like one of the many people I make library cards for on a daily basis. I'll always have a place in my heart for Bernadette. Her "last Midnight" song from Into the Woods will forever linger on many a playlist for moi. It's the number one song for any witch that wants to commit suicide.
Sure Patti can chew up some stage. But this has been done so many times before, and its written so well (Sondheim), that you just can't help but watch it unfurl. It's Rose's turn. Patti Lupone is actually "deconstructing" this role, this act, before our very eyes. Super impressive. How do you like them egg rolls, Mr. Goldstone?
I think what attracts me to this song is the pure yearning. It's why I like that movie Young Adult...someone has gotten off the freeway of life and they are trying like hell to get back on...its all shoulda, woulda, coulda, but I can't help but shed a tear for that person, because I know what it feels like. And its fun to watch them go insane for it, just take it all the way to home plate.
Kurt from Glee did a rendition of this song. All it does is make me want to watch Patti's version. That's what Glee does...it just makes you crave for the original version of something. Sad. But at least it gets the kiddies pointed toward something that was good..once upon a time.
I end up falling asleep with The Client List DVD clutched between my tear-moistened mits.
No comments:
Post a Comment