I'll wrap this up quickly. My diabetic dietician called me at work while I was staring down the endless mine shaft of moral travesty called my tumblr feed. I usually never answer my phone, but sometimes I forget that I never answer my phone and I always live to regret forgetting to do that. Some of the worst moments in my life can be traced back to the point where I answered my cellphone. It's like the movie Memento. Mark it!
I told her my insurance company switched tiers and that she was out of my network. She sounded disappointed and there was a slight quiver to her voice. When I answered the phone and found out that it was her, I did the thing I always do when I don't want to do something, which is be super nice and chatty- let's try to stuff the present as far as we can into the past with mindless chatter, chatter filled with endless failed bits I've created in my head about mundane topics, bits I will eventually throw away because I will never perform stand up, only perform for diabetic dietitians on my lunch hour Tumblr feast time.
She mentioned a free clinic where I could go to get my blood drawn, (no thank you), and generously offered to continue taking my calls in the future. Maybe when I get arrested and thrown in the Sugar Slammer, maybe then I'll call her. I may sound bitchy and petulant about all this, I mean, she's only doing her job, but here's the main reason for my bad attitude: right before I was about to hang up she asked me how much I weighed. Why? We're no longer seeing each other. What does it matter? on my lunch hour, MY LUNCH HOUR, YOU DEIGN TO ASK ME HOWST MUCH I WEIGH?
that was a total hard OFF! Now I have to find a new doctor. a new dietician. and a new attitude!
It's springtime and that means things are ending. I love endings. Any TV show, even one I don't watch, I'm all over the ending. I watched the Sopranos ending along with the rest of America and I have yet to see the pilot.
I love spoiling things for myself, but it's tricky. I don't want to be spoiled RIGHT before I see it, like when I'm standing in line or while I'm watching something and the person I'm with is trying to guess the ending. BTW, has that ever really impressed anyone, in the history of time? Has anyone ever gotten blown because they guessed what happens at the end of Mr. Destiny? Think about it. Maybe back at the turn of the century before last. Maybe at some rinky-dink backwater Nickelodeon in the middle of a Dustbowl, a sly huckster was able to perform this feat. Maybe. But people were so stupid back then, so covered-in-dirt and half deaf from the calliope, that they would gladly take refuge in the musky essence of a tumescent hairy cock filling the world of their face hole.
I hated Six Feet Under. But I heard the ending was amazing. So I watched all 17 seasons just to get to that ending. And it was amazing.
But I really didn't need to watch all 17 season to appreciate this ending. Maybe just half of season one. I just love how ambitious this ending is. Let's see how everyone bites it. No matter how BBC or Star Trekky it gets, since we're going into the future. And I still don't know what the hell "you can't take a picture unless it's already gone" means. It's cryptic, but its a keeper! That's a line you bust out on some drunk freshman that you are trying to bone, as Iron and Wine plays in the background.
Another major ending in my life, of course, is Buffy.
This isn't the ending, it's actually the recap they do before each episode, the "previously on buffy", only this recap was before the finale where they kill her off. (Her tombstone read "Here lies Buffy Summers. She saved the world. A Lot." It was beautiful. Just show all one hundred episodes in forty seconds.
I haven't watched the season finale of Fringe or Supernatural yet. When I watch Fringe these days, I'm amazed that it's still on. There are a lot of alternate universes to keep track of on that show. And occasionally they jump twenty years into a Blade Runner-esque future with a whole new cast of characters. So now there's not only alternate universes but alternate timelines to keep track of. Break out your abacus, its going to be a long night!
I did watch the glee finale, because, when you have no time, sometimes the thing you want to watch while you are eating is something mindless. It's like that quote "The work you do while you are waiting to do the work you want is the work you do."
Hoo - leee - shiz. I was crying nonstop. In a way, this is a series finale, because half the cast is graduating. There was this scene near the end where Fin picks Rachel up to take her to where they are getting married (you know, because they're graduating high school, marriage is the natural choice), and instead he drops her off at the train station and breaks up with her in the car, pushing her out to go live her dreams. I don't know why...it's so stupid, but that scene was incredibly intense. I've never been in a relationship, but that scene tapped into something primal, something so...human, that I just started bawling. ugh. It was almost as heartbreaking as that scene from Of Mice and Men where Lenny kills that puppy with his "R"-tard strength.
Glee is so peculiar. It's shot like a western, with long lenses and shaky zooms. There's a lot of emotion, honesty and vulnerability, which is daring in a post Juno world. And just when things get too schmaltzy, Susan Lynch comes in and just says something so dark or out of place that you forget about changing the channel. One of my favorite lines she delivers is to the football coach, a large Marge of a woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship. She offers her a place to stay, saying "if you don't have a change of clothes I have a tent you can wear."
Joss Whedon directed an episode that got really intense as well. It was about the death of dreams, the onslaught of despair.
Honestly, maybe I like endings because summer is here and summer is that opportunity for you to hide away and try to lose weight, maybe show up next year with a clean slate...a chance to finally start living. Sometimes all it takes to go forward is one hard left turn. And some calliope.
I told her my insurance company switched tiers and that she was out of my network. She sounded disappointed and there was a slight quiver to her voice. When I answered the phone and found out that it was her, I did the thing I always do when I don't want to do something, which is be super nice and chatty- let's try to stuff the present as far as we can into the past with mindless chatter, chatter filled with endless failed bits I've created in my head about mundane topics, bits I will eventually throw away because I will never perform stand up, only perform for diabetic dietitians on my lunch hour Tumblr feast time.
She mentioned a free clinic where I could go to get my blood drawn, (no thank you), and generously offered to continue taking my calls in the future. Maybe when I get arrested and thrown in the Sugar Slammer, maybe then I'll call her. I may sound bitchy and petulant about all this, I mean, she's only doing her job, but here's the main reason for my bad attitude: right before I was about to hang up she asked me how much I weighed. Why? We're no longer seeing each other. What does it matter? on my lunch hour, MY LUNCH HOUR, YOU DEIGN TO ASK ME HOWST MUCH I WEIGH?
that was a total hard OFF! Now I have to find a new doctor. a new dietician. and a new attitude!
It's springtime and that means things are ending. I love endings. Any TV show, even one I don't watch, I'm all over the ending. I watched the Sopranos ending along with the rest of America and I have yet to see the pilot.
I love spoiling things for myself, but it's tricky. I don't want to be spoiled RIGHT before I see it, like when I'm standing in line or while I'm watching something and the person I'm with is trying to guess the ending. BTW, has that ever really impressed anyone, in the history of time? Has anyone ever gotten blown because they guessed what happens at the end of Mr. Destiny? Think about it. Maybe back at the turn of the century before last. Maybe at some rinky-dink backwater Nickelodeon in the middle of a Dustbowl, a sly huckster was able to perform this feat. Maybe. But people were so stupid back then, so covered-in-dirt and half deaf from the calliope, that they would gladly take refuge in the musky essence of a tumescent hairy cock filling the world of their face hole.
I hated Six Feet Under. But I heard the ending was amazing. So I watched all 17 seasons just to get to that ending. And it was amazing.
Another major ending in my life, of course, is Buffy.
I haven't watched the season finale of Fringe or Supernatural yet. When I watch Fringe these days, I'm amazed that it's still on. There are a lot of alternate universes to keep track of on that show. And occasionally they jump twenty years into a Blade Runner-esque future with a whole new cast of characters. So now there's not only alternate universes but alternate timelines to keep track of. Break out your abacus, its going to be a long night!
I did watch the glee finale, because, when you have no time, sometimes the thing you want to watch while you are eating is something mindless. It's like that quote "The work you do while you are waiting to do the work you want is the work you do."
Hoo - leee - shiz. I was crying nonstop. In a way, this is a series finale, because half the cast is graduating. There was this scene near the end where Fin picks Rachel up to take her to where they are getting married (you know, because they're graduating high school, marriage is the natural choice), and instead he drops her off at the train station and breaks up with her in the car, pushing her out to go live her dreams. I don't know why...it's so stupid, but that scene was incredibly intense. I've never been in a relationship, but that scene tapped into something primal, something so...human, that I just started bawling. ugh. It was almost as heartbreaking as that scene from Of Mice and Men where Lenny kills that puppy with his "R"-tard strength.
Glee is so peculiar. It's shot like a western, with long lenses and shaky zooms. There's a lot of emotion, honesty and vulnerability, which is daring in a post Juno world. And just when things get too schmaltzy, Susan Lynch comes in and just says something so dark or out of place that you forget about changing the channel. One of my favorite lines she delivers is to the football coach, a large Marge of a woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship. She offers her a place to stay, saying "if you don't have a change of clothes I have a tent you can wear."
Joss Whedon directed an episode that got really intense as well. It was about the death of dreams, the onslaught of despair.
Honestly, maybe I like endings because summer is here and summer is that opportunity for you to hide away and try to lose weight, maybe show up next year with a clean slate...a chance to finally start living. Sometimes all it takes to go forward is one hard left turn. And some calliope.
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